I just know her
by Yhkamy
Summary: ... "Every once in a while, I see her smile...And she turned my day around" ...


**Disclaimer**: _I don't own Bleach!Not now anyway!!Wahehehe_

**Author's Notes**: _Inspired by the new upcoming Bleach movie: fade to Black...I call your Name. I love Rukia's character, I just wanna see what's gonna happen if by some twisted fate, she ended up well you know..dead (It's not gonna happen in the movie mind ya!) It's not a masterpiece, but give it a shot, I just wanna write it before my mood changes again..and again.  
_

**I just know her**

Can't even tell what day it is, least of all knowing the name of your suppose to be "old" seatmate. How much longer will it take for this boring session to end? It's been dragging time like a whole year has been dipping days with longer hours than mere twenty four…

It's always been like this…ever since _that day_. And I know I'm not the only one who's been harboring pain…but believe me… it shook me to the core more than anyone else.

No one in our class remembered her. Not even one cared… guess it's all thanks to her… being an expert altering memories like carelessly thrashin' on a neighbor's yard.

My nakama took a note of my behavior… and I've been confronted many times, even ended up bloodily beaten on cold floors… Chad's being concerned; Inoue's just worried sick; and Ishida's well, being Ishida.

And I've been perfecting the habit of pivoting my body without a backward glance…like I don't give a fuck!

* * *

I went up my room, slipping past my idiotic dad, and it surprised me a bit for the lack of his usual demoniac greeting… he just smiled sadly at me, nodding in my direction. It's like a reserved man-to-man compromise, to let the other grieve now and gather his wits. Sometimes I wanna know what's going on in his head, but I know deep down most of it will make my head hurt for even apprehending.

Yuzu has been bringing me my meals whenever I missed the family dinner on purpose. She would just knock thrice, putting down the tray in front of my door and leave. She's the caring one… Karin, could only shrug it off as if I'm being a sleazy boy, like she's been forced into accepting that maybe I got a thread of that attitude from our psycho dad, and that sanity was leaving me, for the life of everyone. But she knows… so I never cared to explain…

I lazily threw my bag on top of my chair, falling back on my bed… I recalled every moment, every little detail, when everything that happened during the "rescue Rukia" mission, made déjà vu a sickening fact…

And what made it seriously terrible was when she pulled the blade and aimed her sword against everyone she cared about… including me…

I thought it's just a stupid joke, but her eyes said otherwise. I wanna fight any crafted or materialized form, _HELL even the most evil forces in the world, anything!_ Because I'll put my life on the line for her... protecting her is one of my greatest instincts, it just called out on me whenever she's in danger… but as I fought her, rather trying to ward her off from hurting herself, I knew she's slowly slipping away….

What's that assignment Nimura-san's been telling us two weeks ago to do? Right… Choose a song you wanna dedicate to someone important… then sing the fuckin' thing to the whole universe!

* * *

I skipped breakfast, again. I don't mind it at all, I'm too beat from contemplating last night's homework whether it should be sang or simply choose another one that may be ripped out from any classic poetry, add a melody, then be done with it…

I sat on my seat, simply glaring at everything and seeing nothing…

I could sense that everyone tensed up as Nimura-sensei slid through the door and made her presence known with just a slight "Ahem"

"Ready" it's a mere statement, and nobody's entitled to answer back.

"I'll pick a name in random…if no one wants to go first and sing their piece" And Ishida only raised his skinny hand… "Sensei, if we volunteer ourselves on that very spot could we gain some extra credit for the effort?"

The only effort you've been pulling through is raising your damn arm!

"Surprisingly…yes."

And everyone fell on that trap…I was only forced to endure the same hellish moment because even stupid Keigo(with Mizuiro chirping from the background) refused to let me off just this once… and everyone chorused "Everybody went through it! So do it!"

I was the last who stood up and faced the wrath… I gritted my teeth, took my paper and caught the look Inoue's been giving me the whole time… and she's flustered all over from the woots and the tease she earned from our perverted classmates. Just like when Ishida chose her as someone important to him and sang her the "Eternal Flame" even his voice still ringing in my ears, falsetto or not, I can't help but cringed. And same thing when she referred to me as her most important person (thanks Inoue) and sang "Bizarre Love Triangle"

I cleared my throat and started with this "For now, I just know her."

_  
Every once in awhile  
I see her smile  
And she'd turn my day around  
A Girl with those eyes  
Could stare through the lies  
And see what your  
heart was saying_

_Think of Rukia  
Laugh, don't cry  
I know  
She'd want it that way  
Hey yeah  
When ya think of Rukia  
Laugh, don't cry  
I know  
She'd want it that way_

_Friend of a friend  
Friend to the end  
That's the kind of  
girl she was_

_Taken away  
So young  
Taken away  
Without a warning, oh_

_I know you  
And you're here,  
In every day we  
live  
I know her  
And she's here,  
I can feel her when I  
sing_

_Hey Rukia  
Where are you now  
Are you far away from here  
I don't think so  
I think you're here  
Taking our tears away_

Damn! Is it me or I'm getting carried away with this song, 'cause I felt a a damn huge drop of tear ran down my left cheek…followed by a couple more. After all these years of hiding emotional pain, this is probably the first time I let something personal took a toll in me and be unleashed, humiliating me in front of these people. I hastily wiped them off with one brush of my arm and scowled back at those sympathetic look they're throwing at me.

I went straight to my seat and never even bothered the cheery recognition of my professor or even the huge applause they all have just for my new impression; perhaps now they see me in a new light, I don't care!_ Fuck those years of building my bad boy image!_ I just stared emptily, and realized there's a ton of reasons why my life is in a detrimental situation right now.

The saddest part and probably most wrecking question to hear from each and every one of your classmates is "Who is Rukia?"

* * *

If I'll ever bring myself to answer that question, I'll start with "She's the one who changed my world." Or "She stopped the rain." Not the Usual "She's the bitch who finds happiness in her own plausible way including freakin' retarded bunnies"

but... that's not appropriate for now, not that I owe them an explanation anyway... it's just that...

Rukia died trying to save me, though she's been having such a hard time trying to find that missing piece that has to be the most important and probably the vital part of being the Rukia I know…the irony of it all…even déjà vu has a hellish way to be explained in a logical way, was that even if she doesn't remember me, I was protected by her, again.

I waited for everyone to file out before I leave my seat… only to stop right in front of my professor who's been mumbling and heard it way too clearly… stacking the assignments with swift movements, "Kuchiki Rukia?"

I walked over, wearing that hopeful face, "Do you by any chance, remember her, sensei?"

And I was disappointed when she shook her head… instead of answering, she handed me a paper saying, _send it back to her_, she probably mistook her table as someone else's and handed her assignment by mistake.

I look over that assignment…it was her writing. "I give you my heart, Ichigo." It says.

And a sad soft smile graced my lips when I read that last part:

_Just look over your shoulder.  
Just call my name_

_And I'll be there_

At that I looked outside through the glass windows. There I saw at high noon, the presence of a moon.

I held my hand just right over my heart and clutched the material of my uniform. She gave me her heart, and it matters to me more.

I read her assignment again, this time, not missing the last words scribbled at the foot of the note:

_"No matter what happen, I'm here with you always. Just like an echo... it persists even if the source is gone... Live well, Ichigo."_


End file.
